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Twenty years ago, I found myself stuck.
On paper, everything looked perfect—a big corporate job, a massive salary, a company car, stocks and shares, and I was even renovating a farmhouse in the countryside.
But beneath the surface, I felt like a corporate prisoner, trapped in a role that didn’t quite fit. I wasn’t sure what I truly wanted or what I was even good at.
When a competitor company headhunted me with an even bigger salary and package, it felt like I’d be jumping out of the frying pan and into the fire.
Whilst my head was saying yes, my heart and soul said no.
I knew I was already on the road to burnout and this path would have just fuelled it more.
That’s when a headhunter recommended something I’d never considered before………..going on a retreat.
I spent a long weekend in the Kent countryside asking myself some pretty big and existential questions. Who was I and what did I want from my life?
It was a deeply powerful experience that changed the trajectory of my life. And it taught me the profound lesson of the power of pausing.
This summer, in between juggling work and spending time with my children, I also watched some of the Paris Olympics.
And while there were so many incredible and inspiring athletes, one stood out for me – Simone Biles.
Beyond her incredible athletic achievements, what struck me most was the deeper story of her journey – one of courage, resilience, and the power of pausing.
Only four years ago, Simone Biles stepped down at the Tokyo Olympics, facing intense and harsh criticism from the world’s media for prioritising her mental health.
Her Netflix Documentary – Rising – highlights how much she was torn apart in the media for “abandoning her team”, being a “loser”, a “quitter”, and a “dropout”.
Everyone had an opinion, and they weren’t shy in sharing it, despite this young woman coming to terms with having to give up on her dream that she’d been working on for five years (and more!).
It was a pivotal decision that sent waves through the world – not because she faltered, but because she chose herself, her mental health, and her wellbeing over the expectations placed on her shoulders.
Here are some powerful lessons we can learn from her decision to pause, especially as leaders and parents navigating the demands of life:
Simone’s decision to withdraw from the Tokyo Olympics was initially met with confusion and criticism. But as she explained her reasons – the mental strain, the “twisties” (a dangerous condition in gymnastics where mind and body disconnect), and the overwhelming pressure – it became clear that she was making one of the bravest decisions of her career.
She taught us that stepping back doesn’t mean giving up. In fact, it’s often the most challenging but most necessary thing to do when your mental health is at stake.
As working professionals and parents, we often push ourselves to the brink, thinking that taking a break or asking for help is a sign of weakness. But Biles showed us that real strength lies in knowing our limits and caring for our mental health so we can return stronger.
Simone shares, “ I say put your mental health first So it’s okay sometimes to even sit out of the big competitions to focus on yourself because it shows how strong of a competitor and person you really are.”
Former gymnast and now Associate Professor of Psychology Dr. Onnie (Willis) Rogers powerfully states in the documentary, “It’s not necessary to undermine humanity to be successful.”
For decades, the paradigm of high performance has been distorted, focusing on pushing through at all costs. It was a culture of medals and money first. The documentary reveals this through the lens of world gymnastics, but the parallels in working life are striking.
Dr Onnie shares that in the world of gymnastics we once believed that if you didn’t break, you were resilient, but this mindset bordered on abuse. In the pursuit of excellence, athletes were pushed beyond their limits, with little regard for mental wellbeing.
They thought that was how you built an Olympian, but in reality, it’s how you break down a human. This relentless pressure doesn’t create champions; it creates burnout.
In the documentary, Dr. Onnie Willis Rogers reflects that Simone’s unwavering decision to pause offers a powerful lesson for us all.
“Her courage to live it out is a beautiful lesson for all of us and a beautiful model of what it means to listen to yourself and care for yourself.”
Simone’s gymnastics coach, Laurent Landi, emphasises how difficult her decision was, noting that if she had a visible injury, it would have been easier.
“Only a great athlete could have made this kind of decision.” His reflection highlights that even today, it remains challenging to prioritise the almost invisible aspects of our wellbeing.
In our fast-paced world, especially in leadership roles or as parents, there’s constant pressure to keep pushing forward, even when pausing feels counterproductive, especially when success seems within reach.
But as Simone Biles showed us, rest is crucial to reaching our full potential.
Her decision to step back allowed her to return stronger, not just physically, but also emotionally and mentally, leading her to win medals again at the 2024 Paris Olympics.
During her pause, Simone built a life beyond gymnastics—she got married, built her dream home, and embraced personal time, saying, “I’ve been taking more personal time, and it’s made me more focused in the gym.”
The documentary reveals how this pause helped her become more well-rounded and wholehearted. In doing so, she shifted away from what psychologist Paul Pearsall calls ‘toxic success’—the relentless pursuit of achievement at the cost of wellbeing—and instead embraced a healthier, more balanced approach to success and life.
This is a powerful reminder that pausing doesn’t mean we’re stopping progress. It means we’re ensuring we have the strength and resilience to keep moving forward.
Simone Biles set an extraordinary example of how empowering it can be to say “no.” By stepping back, she set a boundary – with the world, with her sport, and even with herself – to protect her well-being. She reminded us that it’s okay to redefine what success looks like and to prioritse personal wellbeing over external expectations.
In our lives, whether at work or home, boundaries are essential. They allow us to preserve our energy, focus on what matters most, and prevent burnout.
Simone’s decision encourages us all to evaluate where we need to set clearer boundaries in our own lives……even when it feels difficult…….and despite the judgement of others.
A key lesson from Simone Biles’ journey is the incredible power of support. She openly credits regular therapy for fueling her wellbeing and success after Tokoyo, revealing that she even had a therapy session on the morning of her gold medal win in Paris.
The documentary emphasises how we often underestimate the importance of connection and community in our performance and potential. The stark contrast between the isolated environment of the Tokyo Olympics, held during the pandemic with no family or friends allowed, and the support-filled atmosphere in Paris shows how deeply the lack of connection influenced Simone’s decision to pause during the competition.
It’s a reminder that, no matter how strong we are, having a support system is essential to thriving both personally and professionally.
Simone’s ability to rise again after her pause was fueled not only by her inner strength but also by the support she surrounded herself with.
One of the most powerful aspects of Simone Biles’ journey is that her pause was just that – a pause. It wasn’t the end of her career.
The documentary states, “At the age of 26, Biles returns to world gymnastics. Our most decorated gymnast of all time decides to compete again after being out of elite sports for two years. This makes her the oldest US Olympic women’s gymnast in 72 years.”
Her return to competition in 2023 and her incredible performance at the Paris Olympics proved that taking time for yourself can reignite your passion and strength. Her journey shows us that pauses are temporary and can be instrumental in helping us come back with greater purpose and clarity.
As working parents, we often fear that stepping back from a project or taking a break will derail our progress. But Simone’s story reminds us that the pause is often where true growth happens.
I know that’s been the case in my own life when I’ve taken pauses—at the time, those pauses felt painful and counterproductive, but with hindsight, I can see how they have propelled me forward in ways I could never have imagined.
Perhaps one of the most beautiful outcomes of Simone’s story is the message she sends to future generations, including her fans and young gymnasts. She’s shown them that it’s okay to prioritise mental health, that even the greatest champions need a break, and that success is not just about winning medals – it’s about taking care of yourself along the way.
As parents, we want to inspire our children to be resilient and strong, but also to know when to step back and care for themselves. Simone Biles gives us a living example of how to embody both strength and self-compassion.
Simone Biles’ decision to pause during the Tokyo Olympics will be remembered as a pivotal moment, not just in her career but in the world of sports and beyond.
Her story inspires us to recognise the importance of rest, mental health, and boundaries in our own lives – whether we’re leading teams, raising children, or navigating the complexities of modern life.
Simone’s journey embodies resilience, balance, and self-compassion—qualities reflected in the powerful words tattooed on her collarbone: “And still I rise,” a tribute to Maya Angelou’s iconic poem. Her story reminds us that even in moments of pause, we have the strength to rise and thrive again.
Now, I appreciate not all of us have the ability to take a two-year pause like Simone did.
But what I’ve learned is that if I don’t consciously and intentionally create pauses in my life, my body and wellbeing will eventually force me to. That’s why it’s so important to think about incorporating micro pauses into your week, month, or year.
It can be as simple as booking a mental health day for yourself after the kids go back to school, especially after the chaos of juggling work and summer holidays.
Or perhaps scheduling a solo coffee break during the week to simply sit, reflect, or read.
Or maybe taking a weekend morning walk by yourself to clear your head, or plan a short staycation, even just one night away, to recharge.
These small, intentional breaks can make all the difference in maintaining your balance and energy.
This summer has reminded me that it’s okay – even necessary – to take a breath, pause, and prioritise my own wellbeing.
Because, just like Simone, we’ll come back stronger when we do.
I’d love to hear from you – what ways do you pause in your life? What would the power of pausing be like for you?
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