This time of year always trips me up.

Which, honestly, it shouldn’t. By now I’ve had enough summers as a working parent that I should have this down. 

And yet, every year, somewhere around June, I find myself doing one of two things.

The first is putting off asking for help. There’s a hyper-independent part of me that genuinely hates doing it. Asking feels like admitting I can’t cope, like I’m burdening people….. like I should somehow have this figured out already. So I leave it too late, and then scramble.

The second is over-optimism. I tell myself it’ll all work out, that I’ll manage the gaps when they arrive, and then I don’t communicate properly with my husband my team, or anyone else who needed to know the plan. 

And when the wheels come off, I get resentful. 

Not at anyone in particular.

Just that slow burn of feeling like everything is falling on me, when actually I’d never given anyone the chance to share the weight.

The thing both patterns have in common? I waited too long to start the conversation.

If you recognise either of these:

•  the holding-it-all-in or 
• the hoping-for-the-best 

then this blog is for you.

The summer holidays are long. Six weeks or more in most parts of the UK. And for working parents, that length sits in uncomfortable contrast to most people’s annual leave entitlement. The maths simply doesn’t add up  and no amount of creative diary management fully solves it.

There’s also the guilt.

The guilt of not being there enough. 

Of sending your children to yet another holiday club when they’d rather be with you. 

Of working when it’s sunny. 

Of not being the parent who gets to do all the summer things. 

That guilt is real. And, in my experience, it’s also disproportionate to your actual impact. 

You showing up, imperfectly, consistently, with love,  matters far more than whether you were available every day of July and August.

Planning this well takes real cognitive and emotional labour.

I won’t pretend it doesn’t. But the earlier you start – the earlier you look at the full picture, ask for what you need, and share the load – the less it costs you. 

The resentment, the scramble, the guilt spiral: most of that lives in the gap between what we need and what we’ve actually asked for.

So, let’s start now.

Start Here: Look Ahead Before the Chaos Begins

The worst time to figure out the summer is when it’s already happening. Before the holidays land, carve out 30 minutes – ideally with your co-parent, partner, or whoever shares the load with you – and look at the full picture together.

Here are the questions worth asking:

📅  Childcare & Cover – Map it Week by Week

Don’t think about the summer as one big task.. Go week by week.

• Which weeks do I have annual leave?
• Which weeks does my co-parent, partner or family member have leave?
• Which weeks are we genuinely uncovered and need a plan?
• Are there holiday camps, activity weeks or friends’ arrangements that can help fill gaps?

Getting this down visually – even on a simple spreadsheet or printed calendar – instantly reduces the mental load. You stop carrying it all in your head.

🏕️  Camps & Activities – If You Haven’t Booked, Start Now

Good holiday camps fill up faster than you’d think. If you’re still searching:

• What would your children actually enjoy? (Sports? Arts? A mix? Outdoors?)
• What’s your realistic budget, and is there any financial support available? (Many councils and providers offer means-tested subsidies.)
• Are there local options you haven’t explored yet – sports clubs, arts centres, libraries with holiday programmes?

Don’t forget: not every day needs to be structured. Children are remarkably good at finding their own fun when given the space.

👩‍👧  Your Support Network – Who Can You Actually Ask?

Many working parents underuse the support that’s actually available to them – often because asking feels like admitting defeat. It isn’t.

• Are grandparents, aunts, uncles or family friends who might be able to help for a day or a week?
• Do you have friends in a similar position you could swap childcare days with?
• Is there a trusted babysitter or local nanny who does holiday cover?

Think of it as building a patchwork. No single person needs to do it all -including you.

💼  Your Work Situation – Have the Conversation Early

If your workplace offers any flexibility, the summer is a good time for a proactive conversation with your line manager, ideally before it’s urgent.

• Is there any possibility of adjusted hours during the summer? (Earlier starts, later finishes, compressed days?)
• Could any of your work be done remotely, or more flexibly, during holiday weeks?
• If you’re planning to work from home on days your children are with you, what’s your realistic plan for that? (Honest question – it usually only works with structure.)

You don’t need to apologise for having children. A good manager will want to find a workable solution. If you’re not sure how to open the conversation, the companion blog to this one, written for line managers, might be worth sharing with yours.

📱  Screen Time & Structure – Agree It in Advance

This one sounds small but it causes disproportionate stress in summer, particularly on unstructured days at home.

• What are your actual expectations for screen time this summer – more relaxed or holding firm?
• If your children will spend some days at home (with a carer, older sibling, or in your care while you work), what does a reasonable day look like?

Having a clear, communicated ‘minimum standard of care’ for those days reduces a lot of friction. Children actually do better with some structure, even when school is out.

✈️  Family Time – Protect It, Don’t Leave It to Chance

If you’re taking any holiday as a family this summer, make sure it genuinely gets ring-fenced in your diary, not squeezed in as an afterthought.

• What does a meaningful summer look like for your family this year?
• What’s on your children’s wish list? (Sometimes the answer is cheaper and simpler than you’d expect.)
• How do you want to feel at the end of August? Rested? Connected? Like you actually had a summer?

That last question is worth sitting with. It can help you prioritise what actually matters, and let go of the rest.

A Word on the Guilt

I want to come back to this because I think it’s the hardest part.

Working through the summer doesn’t make you a bad parent. It makes you a parent who is providing for their family, modelling what it looks like to have a career, and – honestly – keeping the household running.

The summers you remember as a child probably weren’t perfect. They were probably a mix of wonderful, boring, chaotic, and memorable. Your children’s summers will be the same.

What they will remember is whether they felt loved. And that’s not contingent on whether you were there every single day.

So: plan as well as you can, ask for help where you can, set aside some time for family connection, and then *genuinely* give yourself permission to let go of the rest.

Your Summer Planning Checklist

Before the holidays start, check these off:

• Map the full summer week by week: who has leave when, and where are the gaps?
• Book any camps or activities that need advance planning
• Confirm your support network:  family, friends, childcare providers
• Have an early conversation with your line manager if you need flexibility
• Agree screen time and structure expectations for home days
• Ring-fence your family holiday or quality time – put it in the diary now
• Set a back-to-school planning date so September doesn’t sneak up on you

Here are three free tools to help you feel more organised, less overwhelmed, and more present this summer:

• Summer Holiday Planner – Map out your weeks, balance work and play, and reduce daily decision fatigue.
• Summer Holiday Packing List – Take the stress out of packing for holidays or day trips with a ready-to-go checklist.
• Back-to-School Checklist – Make the return to routine smoother with a practical prep guide.

P.S. Know another working parent trying to juggle it all this summer? Share this with them, it might be exactly what they need.

You’ve got this. Not perfectly – but enough.

Nicky x