Nicky Lowe [00:00:06]:
Hi. It’s Nicky Lowe, and welcome to the Wisdom for Working Mums podcast show. I’m your host. And for nearly 2 decades now, I’ve been an executive coach and leadership development consultant. And on this show, I share evidence based insights from my coaching, leadership, and psychological expertise and inspiring interviews that help women like you to combine your work, life, and motherhood in a more successful and sustainable way. Join me and my guest as we delve into leadership and lifestyle topics for women, empowering you to thrive one conversation at a time. I’m so happy that you’re here, and let’s go on with today’s episode. I don’t know about you, but I’m always inspired by hearing stories of other women, how they’re combining their work and motherhood.

Nicky Lowe [00:00:53]:
And today’s story is one that I think you’re going to want to listen to because it’s a journey that’s full of setbacks, challenges, navigating discrimination and bias, and how this woman has found her way to thrive through it all. My guest is Charisse Pasche. She’s COO and co founder of Dapper Boi. And in 2015, Vicky and Charisse founded Dapper Boi, which is a gender and body inclusive apparel line. And its mission is to inspire people to find confidence in their authentic selves through their clothing. Their company has achieved over $4,500,000 in sales. And today, I have Therese with me to share her journey with us. Her entrepreneurial journey is a testament to, really, her resilience and a value deeply installed by her Filipino American immigrant parents.

Nicky Lowe [00:01:48]:
She’s got an extensive background in sales and management, and she’s leveraged her expertise to make a significant impact in the fashion industry as the co founder of Dapper Boi. This gender and body inclusive apparel line is not just a business. It’s a mission inspired by her wife Vicky’s personal quest for clothing that mirrored her true identity. After a challenging IVF journey that resulted in 2 beautiful twin girls, she’s been juggling being a devoted mother and an ambitious co founder And the balancing act between parenting and professional life has deeply influenced her worldview, bringing authenticity and purpose to her business. And the pandemic completely tested them. And in this episode, you’ll hear about how they navigated all of the setbacks with the pandemic and trying to run your own business. And we talk about her leadership That’s enabled Apple Boi to be flourishing now with, as I say, over $4,500,000 in sales and a diverse customer base serving over 35 1,000 people. And her journey from being a stay at home mum to the COO of a successful 7 figure business is all about empowerment and demonstrating the profound impact of perseverance, love, and the courage to pursue our dreams.

Nicky Lowe [00:03:12]:
And what we talk about goes beyond kind of business operations. We talk about inclusivity and diversity, and her hard work has seen Dapple Boi in the spotlight on ABC Shark Tank, which is like the US version of Dragon Den. And she’s also earned a place on the prestigious out of 12023 list highlighting the brand’s impact on the LGBTQ plus community. And also Charisse plays a pivotal role in the documentary, Show Her the Money, which critiques the fact that less than 2% of venture capital goes to women owned businesses and less than 1% goes to LGBTQ plus founders. I know this conversation is going to be rich with wisdom about entrepreneurship, parenthood, diversity, and embracing our authentic selves for success. So I won’t keep you any longer. Let’s dive in. Welcome Charisse.

Nicky Lowe [00:04:08]:
I’m so excited to have you with me and with my audience to share your story, because there’s kind of such a fantastic story behind why you’re here today. And I wonder if you could kind of share with people for those that don’t know about you and the journey that you’ve been on, how you went from being a stay at home mom to the COO of a 7 figure company.

Charisse Pasche [00:04:31]:
Oh my gosh. Wow. Like, saying it in that way sounds like pretty incredible, but, yes, it’s been a journey. My wife and I met, and we actually started a business together. And we fell in love, and the business kinda went by the wayside, but that’s kinda how we had started. We had always had very entrepreneurial mindset. A couple years later, we got married. We had twin baby girls.

Charisse Pache [00:05:05]:
And, but on our honeymoon, my wife, you know, she, is plus size dressed a little bit more, on the masculine side. Used to, you know, dress in the or buy clothes in the men’s section. But none of those clothes are made to fit, a woman’s body or curves. So it kind of fit her aesthetic. It fit her the look she was going for. She definitely, like, had a boost in her confidence, but it it didn’t, like, fully fit her. So she still did it, like she wasn’t over the hump. So, in, on our honeymoon, I like to say that a lot of people like to conceive their first child.

Charisse Pache [00:05:47]:
And for us, my wife,

Nicky Lowe [00:05:50]:
told

Charisse Pache [00:05:50]:
me about this idea that she had for Dapper Boi. So on our honeymoon, we conceived our business.

Nicky Lowe [00:05:58]:
Amazing. Yeah. Because I I’ve heard you kinda say that, actually, traditionally, if you go into a department store or retail store, you’ve kind of got 2 directions to go. You either go to the women’s section or to the men’s section. And actually, there is that’s very kind of black and white thinking. And what you’ve done is really shake up the the kind of fashion market.

Charisse Pache [00:06:24]:
Yeah. It’s so archaic to think about, like, you’re a woman. Go on the woman’s side to buy clothing. And, you know, now there’s these studies that show that Gen z, over 50% is dressing outside of their gender. You know? And so this is the way of future, and so we really feel like we’ve revolutionized it, because this is where everyone is going. Like, it shouldn’t be about what your sex is or your gender is. It should really be about your style, your preference. And for us, we’re just making clothes.

Charisse Pache [00:06:59]:
Like, I wear our clothes. It doesn’t necessarily have to be for individuals that look like my wife. We actually had a pretty well known football player just try on our clothes, you know, because men have curves. I love wearing wearing our clothing. I have an hourglass shape. We bought through functional things like deep pockets. Women’s jeans have absolutely no pockets because we’re supposed to carry big purses and carry all the things. We also have the button pockets so that you don’t get that chest gap.

Charisse Pache [00:07:29]:
So, all of these things that my wife had thought about and you know, my wife was a very successful, marketing executive in in casinos and had done that for over 10 years. And so when I said yes, I had no idea, like, how crazy our lives were gonna be. We ended up downsizing from a 4 bedroom condo into this tiny apartment. We were shipping jeans out of that apartment. I mean, it was just insane. But when I said yes to my wife, you know, I said yes all the way. So, someone just asked me the other day, how is it being a mom, and how is it being an entrepreneur? And, you know, I feel like we were so fortunate. I had the most difficult pregnancy.

Charisse Pache [00:08:18]:
I was so sick the 1st trimester, like, crazy sick, nauseous, around the clock. Like, and then, because I was so high risk, we did IVF and, you know, I had the multiple pregnancy. So I was on bed rest at home for 5 weeks, and then my cervix was opening up very early on in the pregnancy. So I was on bed rest hospitalized, for 6 weeks. I could only get up for 5 minutes to shower. It’s so insane. However, we were so fortunate because, my wife was able to be there. As an entrepreneur, you’re kinda setting your own schedule, so my wife was able to be there for every step.

Charisse Pache [00:09:03]:
We had our laptops open while I was on my hospital bed. So that was nice. Once the girls were born, I was, as much as I could during naps and at night, I was, you know, working, and I was part of every big decision. We just made it work. It was it was really amazing. However, and then when the girls turned 3a half, we put them in preschool, and I was able to come on

Nicky Lowe [00:09:30]:
Okay. And then your role within the businesses is the COO?

Charisse Pache [00:09:34]:
Yes. I’m COO. And it was so interesting because when I came on, it was I think it was 2021, and this is like you know, COVID was, like, an interesting time when people were staying home. 2020 was actually a pretty exceptional year for us. That’s really where we had started hitting you know, our revenue was really going up. I think people were at home, going through their closets, finding brands like ours and shopping. And, so that was going really great. However, during COVID, when the supply chain issue happened and we were on, like, a preorder model, everything stopped for us.

Charisse Pache [00:10:14]:
So we almost lost it all. And yeah. So, you know, a lot of our customers on preorders were, like, 3, 4, 5 campaigns in, and it had been months, almost a year before we were delivering product to them. So, ethically, we just had to stop, and it was, like, so detrimental to our business. We had to take a pause, you know, on the on the on the supply chain side, and so that was really scary. And what was nice is on the bright side now, I can see, you know, as far as working with my wife, I can’t imagine her going through that alone. I was able to come in and, you know, really help support through all of that. You know, we just got back down to the basics.

Charisse Pache [00:11:02]:
We did this, this exercise together as a team. We had to, like, lean out everything. We let go of quite a few people on the team. We let go of some of our agencies, and it was just me and my wife and a whiteboard. And, you know, we looked we kind of reverse engineered it. So first we said, okay. What does Dapper Boi look like in 10 years? And, of course, we’ve got all our hopes and dreams and what we were excited for and and where we would like to see, the vision of Dappervoy. And then we reverse engineered it, and we said, what does a world look like without Dappervoy in 10 years? And that was so impactful to us because, you know, we get so many stories from customers that say, because of your clothes, I was able to have the confidence to walk into work and, work hard enough to get that promotion, and it was through the confidence of my clothing.

Charisse Pache [00:11:59]:
Like, I feel seen. I feel heard. I feel authentic. And no longer am I thinking am I presenting my best self every day. You’ve taken that burden off of my shoulders. We had a mom reach out that their child saw one of our ads and, you know, was suicidal. But, like, now knowing, you know, one of, like, the things that we’ve needed, especially after COVID, like, one of the things that I think a lot of people realize is they need that sense of community, and I think our brand does that. So, and when we heard that, it was like, there’s no way that we could stop.

Charisse Pache [00:12:37]:
Yeah. So we’ve had to make some tough decisions. We actually, are in this documentary called show her the money. We shared that we sold our home to keep our business afloat, and that was such a tough decision as a mom to have to, but it was it was one of the best decisions that we made.

Nicky Lowe [00:12:55]:
Oh, that’s interesting. And asking that question, I imagine, is so powerful because and a lot of people don’t do that. It’s almost like a consequence question. It’s in coaching, we would call it an ecology question about actually what happens if I do it? What happens if I don’t do this? And it sounds like that really connected you to the purpose of the business. And I know you talk about it’s not just about clothing, it’s a movement. And I imagine that’s really what it connected you to. It’s like, this has to be done. The world needs this, and people need it.

Charisse Pache [00:13:28]:
Yeah. I you know, I’m so fortunate that I can walk into a department store and pick clothing. That’s a privilege that so many of us have. So many individuals where it’s like, wow. Like, I don’t feel like myself. I don’t for clothing, we all get dressed every day, and we wear clothes that represent us on the outside with how we feel on the inside. So we if we can tell people feel more authentically like themselves, more so feel more confident every day. We all have that one piece of clothing where we’re like, yeah.

Charisse Pache [00:14:04]:
I feel absolutely incredible wearing this. Like, for us to have the opportunity to bring that into so many people, people’s homes, their lives, is so impactful, and that’s why it’s a movement for us. But as a mom, more importantly, why wouldn’t I wanna create a space in this world where, like, my children in the future can feel more authentically and know that we’re doing good with the things that we’re doing, that the decisions that we’ve made have been so that they can feel authentic. Their friends, their partners just, you know, can feel confident every single day. I hope there’s more brands like us in the future.

Nicky Lowe [00:14:47]:
And I love all your marketing. Yeah. And it and it’s I wanna be part of this movement. Oh, yeah. And and and I think hearing you say, actually, the risk in selling your home and particularly when you’ve got children, that was a tough decision. But I imagine when you weigh it up against, well, if we don’t do this, what’s the implication? And it still your children, as you say, because we want them to be authentic in this world.

Charisse Pache [00:15:20]:
Yes. Yes. You know, it’s I say this pretty often. Couple things. First off, Dapper Boi is, like, our was our first baby. You know? So it’s our 3rd child, And there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for my children, and there’s almost nothing I wouldn’t do for Dapper Boi. You know? If if our 35,000 customers didn’t have a brand that they could look to that, you know, could make them feel more authentic. Wow.

Charisse Pache [00:15:51]:
That’s, like, so powerful. So we knew that we needed to push on. Like, if we couldn’t invest in ourselves, how could we ask a potential investor to invest in us? And, also, it’s like being a first generation Filipino here, I think my parents put all their hopes and dreams into me. They wanted me to be a nurse or, you know, have something where I had a lot of security, get a pension, all those things because too, I feel like in our culture, security is love. You know? That’s how you show love to your family. But I want to break that generational expectation. I want my children to see like, we in that dancing video, we had our kids in there. We we try to bring our, bring our kids up in in as many podcasts or anything that we’re doing because we want them to be able to hear that we’re proud of them and that we’re trying to create, a legacy for them and and be role models.

Charisse Pache [00:16:56]:
We take them into the office on the weekends, but it would it looking back, it it feels like it was easier to come out to my family than to come out and say that we needed to sell our home. You know, that was such a big thing to, be able to say that I was forced in my family to buy a home, and and it was so exciting. It was such an accomplishment. But at the end of the day, one material thing, that I was holding on to when I think about the lasting impact that that decision could make for our company and for for so many so many other families as well.

Nicky Lowe [00:17:35]:
And I love how values driven you are in everything you do. And we can say that we’re values driven until it gets uncomfortable. As you say, you know, actually I’m putting authenticity first, But then when you’ve got to have those difficult conversations with your family of origin, breaking the mold on all different levels of you know, gender, your sexuality, what’s expected of you in terms of your your family of origin. I don’t

Charisse Pache [00:18:14]:
to when it gets hard, it’s easy to give up. It’s easy to make all the excuses. So, you know, when I said yes to my wife about Dapper Boi, I meant it. And so when we came to that tough decision, we did the reverse engineering. You know, we had a lot of people in our ears saying, when is it time to throw in the towel? What’s your backup plan? And we’ve always said that it’s plan a all the way. If you’re even giving a sliver of energy into plan b, you no longer have a 100% conviction in your original plan. Like, if you don’t 100% believe in your plan, your vision, your goal, your beliefs. If you’re not putting everything into it and and you don’t have the grit, the resilience to get through the bumpy roads, you’re never gonna get to, like, the end goal and, like, all the success at the end.

Charisse Pache [00:19:15]:
It’s so easy to give up, especially from people that are con that have never been entrepreneurs, have never been in your path. It’s easy for them to tell you to give up because they’ve never seen what it’s like to be successful in your path. So I love

Nicky Lowe [00:19:30]:
that because you’ve not compromised on your vision. What I’m hearing is, like, during COVID, you may have had to adapt your strategy to your vision, but the vision never got compromised.

Charisse Pache [00:19:40]:
Right. It was always, always gonna be Dapper Boi, and it will still continue to be Dapper Boi. And we can’t put energy into something else because it’s like, how can we give a 100% to Dapper Boi? There’s there’s there’s literally room for nothing else. We put all our focus there.

Nicky Lowe [00:19:56]:
And it’s interesting because I heard you say couple of times now, it’s like your first child. It’s like your 3rd child. And actually bringing that mother bear energy to kind of protect your business is so powerful. And I wonder what else has kind of parenthood and being the mother influenced about either your leadership or how you approach kind of entrepreneurial life.

Charisse Pache [00:20:21]:
Yeah. So my wife and I are both Leos, and, you know, we both bring different strengths. It’s so interesting being a parent with, and a business owner with my wife, and we kinda came to the agreement that, like, in work, she’s the leader, and, you know, she we we have that plan and and, you know, she’s the c CEO of the business. And at home, I’m the CEO. And so we really take on those different hats and and we play on each other’s strengths. However, I think sometimes she’s so deep into the business that I have a little bit more of a bird’s eye view. Especially during COVID, it felt so like, oh my gosh. What are we gonna do? And we were I was able to step back and say, okay.

Charisse Pache [00:21:12]:
Let’s look at our resources. We’re gonna do this, this, this, and this, and we are able to just check it off because it felt so overwhelming. But I we weren’t able to break it up. And same thing, like, when I became a mom before I was a mom, I had never changed the diaper. I was so overwhelmed. I had these, Wait. Our girls were born at 29 and a half weeks. They were £3, 7 ounces, and then my £2, 14 ounces.

Charisse Pache [00:21:40]:
They look like little dolls. I was so terrified that I was not gonna know what I was gonna do. I was just just disabled with, postpartum anxiety. And so my wife was able to come in, again, from birth’s eye view and say, okay. Here’s what we’re gonna do, and we’re able to come up with, like, a schedule, which you need. Like, I was so militant about the schedule with the twins because at some point, it was like, one was napping 1, you know, 1 minute, the other was napping at the I I just I felt like I was losing control. So she was able to come in and and really dial it in. So I think that we really play off each other’s strengths.

Charisse Pache [00:22:20]:
Previous to this, I also was a, I worked in higher education, and I led a team of over 20. And it’s so incredible because it’s actually that that prepared me to be a mom. Having twins and, you know, 6 year olds with different personalities, one of my, daughters is neurodivergent, so they have different needs. And I always thought having twins is gonna be so easy because I’m just gonna do the same thing with both of them, and I realized I have to manage both the same way or, differently. And then as far as my wife, I feel like what has really been so impactful for our relationship is we wake up every morning. We look at each other and we say, what’s the plan with the family and what’s the plan with the business? And then we execute. And that’s just always how we have started our day, and it’s just we’re always we start every day on the same page, and then we talk at the end of the day. I mean, we literally work next to each other for 8, 9 hours, and they can be completely quiet for those full 9 hours.

Charisse Pache [00:23:26]:
And then, we kinda debrief and say this is what went well. This is what we need to fix tomorrow, and we’re just communication is just so key with us, uh-huh, and it’s always on the 2 things, the business and the family.

Nicky Lowe [00:23:41]:
And that’s really powerful because it could very easily go the other way, couldn’t it? When you’re living, working, parenting together, that could be all consuming, but it sounds like you’ve developed your strategies that you’re able to compartmentalize them, communicate really, really well. And you mentioned that having a team of 20 really has helped you. And I’m wondering what were the lessons that you took from that environment that helped you kind of as a mother, but also in Dapper Boi?

Charisse Pache [00:24:09]:
Yeah. It’s so interesting. One of the things I learned in that a leadership class is you will spend 80% of your time with 20% of your people. And at first, that kinda went over my head until I had some, a couple high maintenance employees. And I realized that I just was being so hyper focused on some of the things that they weren’t doing right, and I really wanted to improve it. And it just really was so all consuming, and it made me realize, like, with the business when we really start to hyperfocus on problems and concerns, and we’re no longer focusing on the things that are going well and how to improve those and how the things that are going well, the things that I felt like were, quote, unquote, problems kinda work themselves out because, the 20% that weren’t performing or were being a little, were steering off in the wrong course Either felt like they weren’t part of the success and didn’t wanna join in the team morale, or they got on ship and they said, you know what? Like, we’ve got a great team. I’m gonna, you know, get on board, and I’m gonna join the team culture. You know, sometimes as a mom, you start to hyperfocus on or even with the business, what’s not going right and how can I fix it and how can I improve it instead of focusing on these are the things that are going right and let’s focus there and let’s try to lead with a little bit more positivity and improve that? And, I think that’s really, really helped me in so many areas, business and being a mom.

Nicky Lowe [00:25:56]:
Yeah. No. That makes absolute sense and how easy it is because we have that negativity bias that we start to focus more on that, how it can suck our energy and time and almost be it feed like a toxic environment. So it’s great that you’ve recognized that and have been able to implement it. I’m wondering from those challenges, because it sounds like every step of the way, you’ve had to overcome challenges. Kind of what would you say the core things that are your strengths or the skills that you think have helped you to do that? Because I imagine that I could be speaking to somebody else that has over kind of experienced those challenges, but not been able to overcome them. It might not be in the same situation, but there might be a theme of, you know, COVID, how it impacted them, or kind of being able to juggle the family and the business. What do you think have been some of your core strengths or skills that have enabled you to do that?

Charisse Pache [00:26:51]:
So I think that we live in, like, such an interesting time of social media, and we always wanna present our best selves. And that, you know, and and I fall into that too with, like, you know, for the business or our family lives. Like, I was only showing the first steps, but I didn’t show the path to get to those first steps. You know, I was comparing myself to my other, friends with kids in the same age group, and I said, gosh. They’re walking a lot faster. They’re talking a little bit faster. You know, same thing with the business. Gosh.

Charisse Pache [00:27:27]:
Like, we have friends that have started businesses around the same time, and they’re way further ahead. You know, I think that we play that comparison game with social media. We all also don’t wanna show the full picture. And so, recently, April 2023, we were featured on Shark Tank. And when we watched Shark Tank and, we were at the height of our world falling apart. We had to make the decision to sell our home. We were finding rental. Like, as a matter of fact, if we did not sell our home that first weekend, we wouldn’t have been able to make rent in our rental property.

Nicky Lowe [00:28:08]:
Wow. So it was literally to the line. And just just for anybody listening that’s not in the US, Shark Tank is like the equivalent in the UK of, like, Dragon’s Den, isn’t it, where you go on a TV program and you present your business for investment as this, where you yep. K.

Charisse Pache [00:28:25]:
And so, that was very scary. And then on top of that, we were in, filming for a documentary called Show Her the Money. And so, you know, they were in our lives for about 6 months while everything was going on. As a matter of fact, they caught behind the scenes, Vicky and I having the conversation of, I think we need to sell our home, and they got that without us knowing. So it it definitely we should be coming to the UK very soon, to do an exclusive screening, so I definitely will let you know. However, you know, once we got the producer that told us, okay. This is your air date for Shark Tank. What was interesting is I was still playing that everything’s okay.

Charisse Pache [00:29:14]:
There’s a fire. There’s a fire going on all around me. But on social media, no one knows what was going on. As a matter of fact, my best friend, we’ve been best friends since 6th grade. She had no idea what was going on. And I remember looking at my wife, and I said, oh my god. My best friend’s gonna find out everything that’s going on on Shark Tank. Like, I have this realization, like, no one knew what was going on, and she’s gonna find out with the entire world.

Charisse Pache [00:29:44]:
And how scary is that? And so to have that, I had to pick up the phone and, oh my gosh, like, it just once I told her everything I mean, in between sobs, obviously. But every once I told her everything, it was like, oh my goodness. Like, I feel so much better. Like, I had this burden. And, like, to have that vulnerability and now to every time we go to a screening and entrepreneurs and founders get to watch the actual journey of what it’s like to fundraise, almost lose it all, share our family story. We did end up getting an investor, which has been amazing, game changing, life changing for our business, and we’re still fundraising for our business. But they’ve been able to see the journey, And I think it’s through the power of that vulnerability that people can see, like, it’s not always roses to, you know, to get there. There is a path of resilience.

Charisse Pache [00:30:40]:
So I think our power has always been vulnerability, and leaning into that, sharing our story as scary as it is, sharing our story with so many founders out there to hopefully inspire others, not just through our clothing brand, but just letting people know, like, sometimes, like, the decision to leave a career that you’ve been so like, you know, that you’re that you’re not you might not be happy in it, but you’ve had this calling or this something that you’ve been wanting to do for a really long time. It it can be tough, but it’s doable if if you’re willing to make the tough decision. And I think that that’s that’s really where our strength has come from.

Nicky Lowe [00:31:24]:
And I love that you’ve shared that. So thank you, Charisse, because just the title of this episode is like stay at home mom to 7 figure business owner. And it just makes it sound like, oh, it’s effortless and anybody can do it. And you’re an overnight success. And, you know, we see the highlights. We don’t always get to see all of the hard decisions and the blood, sweat, and tears that go on behind the scenes. So the fact that you’re giving people insight into that, I think, is so powerful because what you’re showing is it’s possible, but actually it’s not easy by any means. And that journey, you know, the resilience and the commitment that you’ve gotta keep to your vision and the message you you share is around diversity as well.

Nicky Lowe [00:32:17]:
And I wonder as a member of the LGBTQ plus community, what are the kind of specific obstacles or biases you’ve had to face from that perspective, either as a leader in a business or as a parent? And how has that shaped your journey?

Charisse Pache [00:32:32]:
Yeah. I would say, you know, from the business end, it’s so interesting that Show Her The Money, really, what it focuses on is that less than 2% of female founders receive venture capital funding. 2%. And when you think about women and there’s so many studies on female founders and the level of success that they have compared to men. And it’s not men versus women, but it’s what women are capable of. I mean, we’re able to run a household. We are able to run a family, like, household finances. We are able to manage children and run a business.

Charisse Pache [00:33:11]:
Like, that’s why Beyonce said who runs the world. It’s women because we do everything, and we’re able to be successful on it because we are just engineered differently where we can manage many things. And so when we think about, like, you know, the business, how can we be a little bit more resourceful here? Guess what? We’ve already done it at home, so we’re gonna know how to do it in business. Right? It’s like, how many moms have taken Zoom calls breastfeeding? Like, we are able to manage so many things. We have so many balls in the air, and we do it so effortlessly because we’re just wired to to do that. So when I think about our business, you know, and we have been fundraising for quite a while in comparison to other businesses. It’s like, male led businesses. You know, it’s almost like a boys’ club.

Charisse Pache [00:34:02]:
Some women have been shut out of the financial literacy type of conversation. So I think that there are some biases when it comes to to women and funding and business. Specifically with LGBT, it’s less than 1% of female owned businesses and LGBT BIPOC that have received venture capital funding, and that’s why it was so important for us to share our story. And then on the flip side, you know, it’s it’s interesting being we live in a suburban area, and there aren’t a lot of same sex couples. And, you know, I it’s also interesting because one of my kindergartner, my kindergartner daughter, her friend came up to us during a play date and say, my mom saw your mom’s on TikTok. And so to have that increased visibility, you know, we know that more eyes are on us. And we’ve always believed that it’s not necessarily about marching around in in rainbows. And I think people obviously can see that we’re, same sex couple, but it’s also normalizing what a same sex couple looks like.

Charisse Pache [00:35:17]:
Like, we want, our kindergartner, kids’ families to see that. We try to say yes to a lot of play dates because they we want them to show. We’re just a family. You know what I mean? We operate like every other family. We want it to be normalized. We want those conversations in your home to say, hey. Did you know that Tory has 2 moms? What does that mean? Like, we wanna open up those conversations. I think it’s about representation through just being us and showing that, you know, we’re a caring and loving family also.

Nicky Lowe [00:35:49]:
And I really, really appreciate you sharing that because I was just listening to you say, actually, there’s more eyes on us. And I was thinking, does that mean then you feel more pressure and more judgment? And if you did, it would be really understandable to go, well, I we wanna close ourselves off and not feel that. But you’re actually opening yourselves up and going, no, come into our home. Come and see. You know, come and experience this to normalize that, yeah, we’re we’re just a family. Families come in so many sizes, shapes, forms, and, yeah, we are just a family.

Charisse Pache [00:36:25]:
Yes. And, you know, I have the most wonderful wife. I think that she actually made it easier to come out because my family got to know her, and they really it was really just based on the relationship that they had with her. I mean, my brothers are closer to her than they are to me, which is all that I could have ever asked for. You know, it’s it’s really about showing people that, we wanna be a safe space for a lot of people, and we wanna open it up so people can ask questions. I actually just joined I’m one of the chairs of the PTA and the DEI committee because I wanna be able to have that type of impact wherever we can. It’s like, I want my kids to feel recognized, to to be heard, to be authentic, and, again, to normalize it because if, you know, I read the study of, more that almost 50% of Gen z is now identifying as non binary. And how powerful is that? You know? And so if if I can make an impact with, you know, maybe having, you know, more conversations with parents about what it means to be LGBT or what nonbinary means for your child or how to support your child through that, we we do try to be a resource in that way.

Nicky Lowe [00:37:49]:
Loweve that. And I what it made me think is actually a a lot of the challenges for working moms are those gender norms and stereotypes that have existed for decades, centuries that often are holding us back, you know, the the assumptions. And, actually, you’re breaking that down at every level, intentionally and unintentionally, and that just supports us all. So, yeah, just thank you for what you’re doing. And I’m over the moon to hear the success that you’ve had, and I just wish you every continued success because, as you say, it’s not about just the clothing, it’s the movement and the ripple effects of that. So if there was just one thing that you would hope that somebody listening to this conversation and the journey you’ve gone on would take away, what what would you want that one thing to be?

Charisse Pache [00:38:40]:
So I’ve talked about the business. I’ve talked about being a mom. One thing that I’ve really been diving into is doing something for my self because I’m doing so much for others. I recently got on the side of TikTok that is heatless curls, and this sounds so silly. However, I used to wake up and just, like, you know, sometimes we work from home or go into the office, and I wasn’t making that extra I don’t know. Making putting in a little extra effort towards myself, and I recently started finding joy in going down the rabbit hole of, like, finding different, like, hairstyles to do for myself or, you know, putting on a little bit of makeup every day. And it’s making me feel more confident because I’m taking a little bit of time for myself throughout the day. We’re still busy as heck, and so, you know, I do find joy also in finding little hacks for myself, maybe packing my kids’ lunch at night so it’s not the crazy hustle bustle in the morning.

Charisse Pache [00:39:45]:
And my kids feel a little less stressed, in the morning getting out the door, or in the morning taking a little or at night taking a little more time for myself, doing a little 20 minutes on TikTok, you know, figuring out a little hairstyle so I feel good in the morning for myself. I think that the art of self care for yourself being, being a mom juggling all of these balls, you know, being an entrepreneur, We gotta take a little time for ourselves and remember that if we don’t take care of ourselves, so many things can fall by the ways. Side. So take that moment to have a little joy for yourself, whether it’s like reading a book, finding a good show, doing a hairstyle, putting on some lashes, something to find a little joy for yourself, I think, is so important.

Nicky Lowe [00:40:34]:
Loweve that. And you look amazing. It’s what? It’s 7 7 o’clock in the morning with a time difference, so your hair and your makeup look phenomenal. So whatever you’re doing is working. Yeah. And I think that’s really important because as you say, between being the professional, you know, COO and the parent of young twins, like, where’s the time for you as kind of the personal? And I love that you you’ve kind of recognized that and carving it out. And it’s a reminder to all of us because it can feel difficult to do and also kind of the judgment of we should be there for everybody and everything.

Charisse Pache [00:41:08]:
Right.

Nicky Lowe [00:41:10]:
So if people wanna find out more about you and Dapper Boi, which I’m sure they will, where would you send them? And I can put all the links in the show notes. So where would you recommend?

Charisse Pache [00:41:20]:
Yeah. So we’re on, Instagram at, our handle is Dapper Boi. We also started an Instagram to follow our behind the scenes entrepreneurial journey, so we get a little bit more raw there. And, so it’s meet the Pasche, and our Pasche is p a s c h e, and then our website, www.dapraboy.com, and boy is with an I. Yeah.

Nicky Lowe [00:41:47]:
I was gonna mention that. So brilliant. I shall put all the links in the show notes, and you’ve got an amazing following on Instagram. And it doesn’t surprise me because, as I say, that it’s such a feel good feel to your to your post. So thank you for joining me. Thank you for getting up so early as well. I really appreciate it.

Charisse Pache [00:42:04]:
Thank you.

Nicky Lowe [00:42:07]:
If you’ve enjoyed this episode of Wisdom For Working Mums, please share it on social media and with your friends and family. I’d love to connect with you too. So if you head over to www.luminate-group.co.uk, you’ll find a link on how to do this. And if you love the show and really want to support it, please go to Itunes, write a review, and subscribe. You’ll be helping another working mom find this resource too. Thanks so much for listening.