Nicky Lowe [00:00:06]:
Hi. It’s Nicky Lowe, and welcome to the Wisdom for Working Moms podcast show. I’m your host. And for nearly 2 decades now, I’ve been an executive coach and leadership development consultant. And on this show, I share evidence based insights from my coaching, leadership, and psychological expertise and inspiring interviews that help women like you to combine your work, life, and motherhood in a more successful and sustainable way. Join me and my guest as we delve into leadership and lifestyle topics for women, empowering you to thrive one conversation at a time. I’m so happy that you’re here, and let’s go on with today’s episode. Welcome back to another episode of Wisdom For Working Mums.

Nicky Lowe [00:00:49]:
This is the podcast where we empower you as high achieving women to balance your career and personal life with less stress and more success. And I’m your host, Nicky Lowe. And today, I’m diving into a topic that resonates with many of us, and it’s work life balance. But actually, work life balance isn’t a term that I really use. I don’t believe in balance, and I don’t think it’s helpful to think about it in those terms. It’s more about blend. How do the different parts of our life blend together? And for so many of us as working mothers, we can struggle with the blend of our professional parenting, personal, and partner parts of our life. That work life blend is notoriously tricky.

Nicky Lowe [00:01:33]:
We either feel like we’re spending too much time on work and we’re not present for our children, or we’re showing up for our families but not able to focus on work as much as we need to, or we used to before we had our children. And this can lead to frustration and overwhelm, where we’re juggling the demands of our work and mental and physical exhaustion that I know so many of us can relate to. Mental and physical exhaustion that I know so many of us can relate to. Far too often, we’re getting to the end of the day feeling frustrated that we don’t have enough time to complete our to do list, both at work and at home. And while there’s no magic wand to fix those challenges, an area of that many of us don’t know about is how our personality and preferences influence that career and caring conundrum. And so in this episode, I’m going to explore how being either a harmonizer or a compartmentalizer impacts our experience of working mothers. And I’m going to share some of the evidence based insights of work life integration versus work life segregation. And I’ll explore the differences between those approaches, what influences our preference, and how to manage that for optimal performance, and also look at had saw on LinkedIn a post from a working dad, actually, he’d just returned from his paternity leave and he’d spread his paternity leave over a number of weeks and really done flexible working over that time.

Nicky Lowe [00:03:25]:
And he put a post onto LinkedIn about how tricky he’d found that, that prior to having his paternity leave, it sounded like he’d been somebody that had been able to manage his work life segregation and keep work and life quite separate. And what he was alluding to in this post was that he’d made a shift to doing more work life integration and how challenging he’d found that. And I’d shared a comment on there about, actually, this particular topic that we’re going to explore today, how our preferences and our style can influence how well we’re able to navigate that. And I think it’s really important to think about how do we set ourselves up for success if we’re either an integrator or a segregator. And I’ll explain what I mean by those now. So work life integration is where we actually blend our personal and professional responsibilities. It’s normally characterized by wanting flexible schedules and our work and personal life to intersect. And if that’s the case, in that area, you’re a harmonizer.

Nicky Lowe [00:04:37]:
And it’s ideal for those that really prefer fluid boundaries and can multitask effectively. On the other end of the spectrum is work life segregation. And that’s really where we like to keep our personal and professional responsibilities separate. And it’s normally characterized by having really clear, defined work hours and that clear separation between our work time and our personal time. And we probably prefer limited work related interruptions during our personal time and vice versa. And it’s ideal for those that prefer structured boundaries and to focus on one task at a time. And if that’s the case, in that area, you’re a compartmentalizer. And as I’ve said that, you may have started to even think about, actually, yeah, I can relate more to one than the other.

Nicky Lowe [00:05:28]:
I think my journey has been that, actually I’m quite adaptive, so I can do integration and segregation, And as a result, I hadn’t really clearly understood what my preference was. And I looked at other people and how they were working and thinking, oh, I need to try that for myself. That looks great. They look like they’re navigating that well. But it was almost when I tried on the clothes that somebody else was wearing, they didn’t quite fit me in the same way. And I think the more clear we can be about our natural preference, not our learnt or maybe what we’ve had to come to navigate and perhaps we’ve gotten pretty good at, but it’s not our natural preference. I think the more we can get clear on that, the more important it is for us to, kind of, thrive, and it really helps us to thrive. And I think there are some key factors that influence our preference.

Nicky Lowe [00:06:24]:
And there are 2 main factors. The first is our personality and preference. And the second is, life circumstances, and I’ll dive down into those now. So from a personality and preference perspective, if you’re somebody that enjoys work life integration, so being a harmonizer, it’s useful to note that that’s often preferred by extroverts, because extroverts tend to thrive on social interaction and that flexibility. If we’re an extrovert, we enjoy multitasking and dynamic environments. So that social interaction where we can feel energized by engaging with others, we’re more likely to enjoy that blend of social and work activities seamlessly. And often that integrated work life can provide more opportunities for those spontaneous social interactions, which can be stimulating for extroverts. Extroverts also tend to be more adaptable and flexible.

Nicky Lowe [00:07:26]:
So again, a generalization, but it can tends to make extroverts more comfortable with switching between tasks and roles throughout the day. And that means that that personal and professional task intermingling and those frequent adjustments. An extrovert tends to be more adaptable to be able to do that. And extroverts tend to be skilled at multitasking and can handle juggling multiple responsibilities without feeling as overwhelmed as an introvert might. So work life integration tends to lend itself better to, extroverts who kind of manage that overlapping work and personal commitments more effectively. And the reason for that is the energy from the social interactions. So since extroverts gain energy from interaction with others, it’s likely that they’re gonna enjoy the work environments that allow for that more frequent social engagement during work hours, but also outside. They tend to enjoy flexible schedules.

Nicky Lowe [00:08:30]:
So if you’re an introvert, you might tend to enjoy dynamic and varied schedules that that work life integration can bring and tend to find rigid boundaries between work and personal life constraining. So they tend to prefer the flexibility to manage their time. And extroverts can leverage their social skills to create that synergy between their personal professional lives. Hopefully that’s started to get you thinking, whether you know if you’re an introvert or extrovert. And again, we’re less we’re not likely to be at the extremes, we’re likely to be a blend, but just knowing your own blend. And on the other hand, let’s now look at work life segregation from a personality and preferences perspective. So the work life segregation, so being a compartmentalizer, is often preferred by introverts who tend to need those clearer boundaries to recharge, who tend to prefer the routine and structure and deep focus on tasks. And the reason for that is introverts tend to recharge their energy through those solitary activities or in lower stimulation environments, and they may feel drained by that constant social interaction.

Nicky Lowe [00:09:43]:
Introverts often prefer work to be in a focused, uninterrupted manner, so that, like, deep focus. And they tend to be more productive in environments where they can concentrate deep deeply without those frequent distractions and have those structured boundaries. They may find it stressful when personal work responsibilities overlap. And how those characteristics influence the preference for segregation is it can help in terms of preserving energy. So work life segregation allows introverts to maintain a clearer distinction, and it helps them to preserve their energy. And it means that if you’re an introvert, you can focus on work during designated hours and recharge during personal time. And it also enhances focus and productivity by keeping work and personal life separate. Introverts can create an environment that minimises their and enables them to do that deep focus and how about uninterrupted time.

Nicky Lowe [00:10:42]:
And it allows to balance social interaction. So we clear boundaries. Introverts can really plan and limit their social interaction without the fatigue that can come from that excessive engagement. And it can help them to maintain their personal space. They can engage in more solitary or low stimulation activities. But it’s not just our personality and preferences that influence this. It’s also our life circumstances. So things like our family dynamics, whether you’re a single parent, a dual career household, or families with young children, you might tend to lean towards that integration for flexibility, even if it’s not necessarily your natural preference.

Nicky Lowe [00:11:22]:
Obviously, your job nature, the roles that demand that constant availability, they necessitate integration, while jobs with fixed hours align more with segregation. And also technology access, the ability to access technology that promotes integration. Now, obviously, technology is more integrated in our lives than ever before, but there are clearly still roles where, it doesn’t allow us to have that integration, if that is our preference. So whether we are somebody that’s a harmonizer or compartmentalizer is a mix of those psychobiological, so our kind of individual preferences and style, and our psychosocial. So those kind of systemic factors, they kinda both influence us. But how would you know if you were a harmonizer or compartmentalizer? I thought I’d share with you some questions that could help you. So the first question is, how comfortable are you responding to work emails or calls during your personal time? Do you enjoy having a flexible schedule that allows you to switch between work and personal tasks as needed? Do you find it easy to work from home or non office environments? Are you productive when you can multi task between work and personal responsibilities? Do you appreciate the ability to adjust your work hours to accommodate your personal activities? And do you often integrate your personal interests or hobbies into your work day? If you do, then you’re likely to more be an integrator harmonizer. Whereas if you need clear boundaries between work hours and personal time to be effective, Perhaps you prefer to keep your work and personal life completely separate.

Nicky Lowe [00:13:11]:
Maybe you feel stressed if you think about work during your personal time. Do you feel more focused and less stressed when your work and personal life don’t overlap? With those, you’re more likely to be a compartmentalizer. So as you’re starting to become clearer on your preference, whether that’s due to your personality or your life expec circumstances. How do you manage this? Let’s explore managing our preferences for, for optimal performance, because that’s really what I’m all about. So let’s look at strategies for Harmonisers. So if you’re somebody that likes that work life integration, The first strategy is about setting clear priorities, really getting clear on your daily task list, like, the most important tasks for both work and personal, because that helps you stay focused on what truly matters. Also, time blocking, allocate specific blocks of time for work tasks and personal activities that ensure you get both areas, get the attention they need throughout the day. My business manager, Lauren, has taught me to do this.

Nicky Lowe [00:14:19]:
I used to hold both my personal and work tasks really in my head and switch between them, but without a clear plan and without clear time. So it felt like I was being a bit manic and almost a bit schizophrenic in my work because I’d be switching constantly rather than going, actually, I do like to integrate, but can I do it in a more manageable way? Also, second strategy is about using technology wisely, using productivity apps. So it might be something like a, an electronic to do list or, project management apps like Trello or Asana that help you to manage those tasks and deadlines efficiently. We use Asana in my business. And when we first implemented it about 2 and a half years ago, it fundamentally changed the way I worked and the way that we managed our time as a team. So I would definitely recommend if you don’t exploring some of those productivity apps. Many of us live and die by our calendars, so just making sure that calendar integration, so syncing your work and personal calendars to avoid those scheduling conflicts. So you’re keeping track of all your commitments.

Nicky Lowe [00:15:34]:
And also notification management. So customise your notifications to prioritise what’s important while also minimising distractions. And it’s something that I’ve been, I’ve been trying to iron out with my team. We haven’t got our notifications or my notifications quite right. And, literally, in the last month or 2, we’ve we’ve, we’ve honed that so that I’m being aware of what’s coming up in a more manageable way. A third strategy is around creating flexible routines, ensuring really that your routines include both work and personal activities. So this will be unique for each of us, but it might be about starting your day with exercise, or it might be about how do I, how do I integrate exercise into my working day? I find that works for me, for people that are more, segregators than integrators, that may not work for them. And also being adaptable, so being open to adjusting your routine based on the demands.

Nicky Lowe [00:16:37]:
And I don’t know about you, when I’m recording this episode, we’re coming to the end of the school term, and my son is leaving his primary school. And so the amount of school events and activities is pretty off the scale. And I’m really having to be very adaptable with communicating our boundaries. It’s about setting those expectations to your colleagues and family members, so they know when you can be reached for work or personal matters. And I found that when I started to work from home, I had to almost educate, friends and family about my availability. Just because I was at home didn’t necessarily mean that I was always gonna be personally available. And so getting clear on that. And also your work space, having a designated specific areas for your home, for work and personal can help to separate the 2 in a more useful way.

Nicky Lowe [00:17:35]:
I used to work from my kitchen table, but I found that really difficult because I never fully enjoyed my kitchen space because it was my workspace or I’d be working and think, oh, I’ve gotta go and pick the kids up and do dinner. And I’d be sweeping up all my work stuff and putting it to one side. And actually creating a designated workspace at home made a real difference for me. Strategy is about leveraging multitasking opportunities. So looking for ways to integrate your work and personal tasks. So it might be like listening to a work related podcast while you’re exercising, or perhaps responding to emails during your children’s, sports practice. And also for that family involvement, so involve your family in your work where appropriate, such as explaining projects to your children or working alongside your partner. If that integration works for you, think about ways that you can do it in in a way that supports you and your family.

Nicky Lowe [00:18:27]:
The 6th strategy is around prioritizing your self care. So making sure you take those regular breaks to recharge. Because when we are integrating our work and life, those boundaries get blurred and we may enjoy that. But it also means we don’t have those almost like guardrails in place that help us make sure that we’re not overstretching ourselves. So making sure that you’re building in those guardrails that keep those breaks and, re energizing and resting in place. The 8th strategy is around, looking at continuous reflection and adjustment. So do those regular check ins. So really assessing how well your work life integration is functioning and being open to adjusting, to get the right integration that you need.

Nicky Lowe [00:19:16]:
And also getting feedback from colleagues and families about how your approach impacts others and it impacts your work. Also, embracing that flexibility with structure while integrating work and personal life, you can set those flexible yet clear boundaries. So make sure that neither aspect is overtaking the others and also having emergency plans in place. So when unexpected work or personal issues arrive, how you can handle them without significant disruption. So by implementing those strategies really as a harmonizer, you can more effectively manage your work life integration, thinking about how both work and personal responsibilities are met without overwhelming yourself. And that approach really allows more fluid and fulfilling integration, if that is your preference. But now let’s look at strategies for compartmentalisers, so people who prefer that work life segregation. The first one is around establishing career boundaries.

Nicky Lowe [00:20:18]:
So getting really clear on what your specific work hours are and sticking to them where possible, avoiding working outside those hours unless it’s absolutely necessary. Having physical boundaries, so creating that dedicated workspace, because it can help create a clear mental distinction between work and personal life, particularly if you’re somebody that does work remotely or at home. Effective time management, I think that goes without saying for for any working parent, but planning your day with those distinct blocks of time for work and personal and having that calendar and digital kind of support to keep track, really thinking about what is most important during those work hours. Because if we don’t, it could lead to more bleeding and forcing us to do more work, life integration. And if segregation is our preference, that’s gonna impact And also And also having transition rituals, so having those rituals that allow you to transition from work to personal time. And it might be a short walk or changing your clothes or, you know, a phrase that you say to yourself, but really being clear of, actually, I’m now going to create this distinct separation. Also about communicating boundaries. So clearly communicate your work hours and availability to colleagues and also making your family aware of your work schedule and where possible for them to respect those work boundaries.

Nicky Lowe [00:21:45]:
Using technology to your advantage, as we’ve said, and using calendar blocking and and enabling yourself to do that deep focus work, so minimize distractions. So there might be, different techniques that you use, like the Pomodoro technique, where you set a timer and do those deep work, or you have apps that really enable you to to reduce the distractions. Where’s possible, do that single tasking. So focus on one task at a time, because that is probably your preference if you’re somebody that likes work segregation. And develop contingency plans. So have protocols in place for handling those work emergencies during personal time and vice versa. And again, having that continuous reflection and adjustment. So reviewing that work life segregation to ensure that your boundaries are effective and that you’ve got the support needed, so that you’ve got the family support.

Nicky Lowe [00:22:42]:
Because if you’re a harmonizer, enjoys having that segregation in your life, it’s really important to have those things in place that support it. But what happens if you’re actually somebody that has a different preference to where you find yourself? So what if you’re a harmonizer who prefers work life integration, but you find yourself in a situation where your life is more structured and more like a compartmentalizer? What I wanted to do was share some strategies that you can implement to bridge the gap between your preference and your current circumstances. So if you’re a harmonizer, but you find yourself in a compartmentalizer life, the first thing that I’d suggest is see if you can find flexibility within the structure. So look for ways to micro integrate, so look for small ways to integrate your work and personal tasks within the existing structure. So it might be taking a short break during work hours to handle personal irons or make a quick call, or taking flexible breaks or using your breaks to do activities that blend your work and personal life. The other thing is about using technology, use apps that help you to manage both work and personal tasks effectively. So maybe integration your calendars, as we’ve talked about, or having those project management tools that enable you to switch context more smoothly when needed. An important one is about communicating your needs.

Nicky Lowe [00:24:09]:
So have open conversations with your employer or your manager about your preference for flexibility and share how a more integrated approach could benefit you, your productivity and well-being, and see if there’s ways to negotiate for flexibility. So there’s small pockets, So it could be occasional remote work days or flexible start and end times. And about maximizing your personal time, so this is about quality over quantity. So perhaps engage in activities that recharge you and make you feel more connected to your personal life, even if you can’t get it met in the perfect way. Find ways to bring your personal interest more into a work environment. So it might be, where possible, listening to your favorite music or perhaps a podcast while working, and leveraging your breaks for integration. So use your breaks during the work day to engage in those personal tasks we’ve talked about. So how about if you’re a compartmentalizer, but you find yourself in a harmonizer life? So you’re someone who prefers clear boundaries between your work and personal life, but you find yourself in a situation where your life requires more integration.

Nicky Lowe [00:25:17]:
There are several strategies you can also implement to create a sense of structure and boundaries within an integrated environment. So here are some steps. The first one is about creating clear micro boundaries. So thinking about perhaps a designated work zone. So designate specific areas in your home or office for work activities, even within an integrated setting, having a dedicated workspace can really help maintain those mental boundaries. Setting time blocks, so allocating specific blocks of time for work and personal, even if they overlap, because that can really help focus on one type of activity at a time. Really getting clear on your priorities and schedules. So sitting down each day with a plan that outlines your work and personal tasks and using those planners or digital calendars, and really doing that task segmentation.

Nicky Lowe [00:26:10]:
So breaking tasks down into smaller segments and scheduling them in a way that allows you to maintain your focus on productivity. I think communication is really key here key here as well. So clearly communicate your preferred workouts to colleagues and family, let them know when you’re available for work related communications and when you’re gonna be focused on personal matters and really do that personal time protection. So informing your team about your non work hours to really try and minimise those interruptions, utilising technology to support those boundaries. So if possible, use separate devices for work and personal, so you can create that physical boundary between the 2. And also those notifications, adjust your notifications to prioritise work related during work hours and personal during personal time. I think those those rituals are gonna be key as well. So developing rituals that really signal the start and end of your work day or the start of being in your professional mode to your personal mode, and using those micro transitions to really help support you to navigate an environment that might not be your preference.

Nicky Lowe [00:27:17]:
So we’ve explored our own style, but what about people that you might work or manage in the workplace? I wanted to share some tips for managing these different preferences. So let’s look first at tips for managing a harmonizer in the workplace. And this requires understanding their preference for work life integration and really leveraging it to enhance productivity and well-being. So if you’re somebody that manage your work with somebody that’s a harmonizer, you’re gonna wanna encourage flexibility where possible. So allow flexible working hours to enable a harmonizer to adjust their schedule, to blend work and personal responsibilities, offer opportunities for remote working, again, where possible. It can really help them to manage their work life integration more. It’s about providing a supportive environment, so having that open communication where employees feel they could be comfortable discussing their work life of integration needs and challenges, and have that support system in place to help them. Providing autonomy is really important here.

Nicky Lowe [00:28:23]:
Empowering them with the decision making, to have that autonomy over their tasks and schedule, that helps them to manage their workload in a way that integrates their personal life. And trust and responsibility are really important here. Show trust in their ability to manage their time and responsibilities effectively. And that can really enhance their sense of control and satisfaction, give them the opportunity to leverage the technology as we’ve talked about. So have the productivity tools and collaboration platforms and really facilitate those blended activities. So, things that can be, you know, workshops and training that might be both personally, professionally enriching. It goes without saying, but having those clear expectations, clearly outlined work expectations, goals, and deadlines to help harmonisers manage their time and give them regular feedback to make sure they’re meeting their objectives while maintaining a balanced work life integration. And managing a compartmentaliser in the workplace really is important as well.

Nicky Lowe [00:29:27]:
So it involves respecting their need for the clear boundaries between work and personal life and creating an environment that supports their preference for that structure and focus. And I think this is really important. If you personally are somebody that’s more of a harmonizer, but you’re managing compartmentalizer or vice versa. We’re often taught that treat people how we like to be treated is a good thing. And I think the intention’s good, but the actual practical application can get tricky because I might assume that you like to integrate like I do, where actually you might like to segregate. So the first tip is about respecting boundaries. So set really clear expectations for work hours and respect a compartmentalizer’s need to disconnect after hours. Avoid contacting them during personal time unless it’s absolutely necessary.

Nicky Lowe [00:30:17]:
Have those defined workspaces, so encourage the use of a dedicated workspace to help them maintain a clear separation and provide that structure. So establish a consistent schedule for meetings, deadlines, and tasks because that predictability helps them plan their work and personal activities more effectively. And schedule those regular check ins to provide feedback and discuss any kind of progress or concerns. And that routine helps them to stay focused and aligned. Support that focus work. So create an environment that minimises unnecessary interruptions. I think that’s important for anybody to be fair, but particularly for somebody that’s a segregated that likes that kind of, compartmentalization, and encourage them to do deep work. So give them periods of uninterrupted work time.

Nicky Lowe [00:31:04]:
Again, it’s about clear communication and transparent policies regarding their work hours, overtime, and availability so that they can manage their boundaries effectively. And, again, providing that autonomy that gives them the ability to manage their workload in a way that suits their preference. So hopefully, it’s been useful to even consider the concept of being a harmonizer or compartmentalizer because I don’t think enough attention is paid to this in terms of our own self awareness and how we take that into the workplace. I think we just assume that we’re all gonna just adjust to whatever our work environment is. And often we do, but we don’t pay attention to what the cost is of that. So understanding whether you’re a harmonizer or compartmentalizer is the first step to really achieving that fulfilling work life strategy. It’s about recognizing your natural inclinations and implementing strategies that align with your preferences, so you can enhance both your personal well-being and your professional performance. For harmonizers, it’s about embracing flexibility and integrating your work with your personal activities.

Nicky Lowe [00:32:12]:
So you can create that more harmonious blend that might fuel your creativity and productivity. And for compartmentalizes, it’s about maintaining those clear boundaries and structured schedules, ensuring that you can focus and reduce the stress, allowing for that more effective management of both your work and personal responsibilities. And I think it’s important to remember that there’s no one size fits all. And we’re never kind of the extreme ends of this. We’re always almost a blend of those 2, but it’s about finding what works best for you and continuously adapting to life’s changes, whether you thrive on that integration or the need for segregation, the key is to create an environment that supports your unique needs and goals. And having the conversations with the people that influence that, whether it be personally or professionally. So thank you for tuning into this episode of Wisdom For Working Mums. I hope these insights help you unlock your ideal work life strategy.

Nicky Lowe [00:33:14]:
And if you enjoyed this episode, please share it with your friends and colleagues and stay connected with us for more tips and strategies to help you thrive as a working mum. If you’ve enjoyed this episode of Wisdom For Working Mums, please share it on social media and with your friends and family. I’d love to connect with you too. So if you head over to https://luminate-group.co.uk you’ll find a link on how to do this. And if you love the show and really want to support it, please go to Itunes, write a review, and subscribe. You’ll be helping another working mum find this resource too. Thanks so much for listening.