What if the most powerful negotiation skill isn’t talking…but listening like a life depends on it? In this jaw-dropping episode, I speak with former hostage negotiator Nigel Taberner, who’s attended over 130 high-risk incidents without a loss of life. Nigel dismantles the myths (no Jedi mind tricks here) and shows how the exact skills used in armed sieges translate to leading teams, navigating conflict, and yes, parenting a strong-willed tween.

In this episode, we cover:

Why “hostage negotiation” is really connection, influence & persuasion, not deal-making

The warmth vs. competence balance: how to show you’re kind and capable

The negotiator’s superpower: listening at level 10 (and why multitasking kills it)

The echo technique that keeps people talking without interrogation

How to plan the first 60 seconds of any tough conversation

Turning negotiation into a team sport

Managing your own physiology under pressure

Applying these tools at work and at home, especially with teens and tricky stakeholders

Links in this episode

Nigel Taberner Website

Nigel on LinkedIn

Nigel on Instagram

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Read the transcript here